Pages Menu
TwitterRssFacebookInstagramPinteresttumblr
Categories Menu

Posted by on Jan 23, 2013 in Canada, Featured, Inspiration, Los Angeles, Travel | 6 comments

Traveling Without Your Significant Other

My favorite travel partner and I in Paris! We are reuniting again for London!

I struggled about writing this post, sort of wondering if I would be able to articulate my ideas the way I wanted to. Well here goes nothing-

I am super excited to go to London and everyone that I tell is really excited for me. Of course it is a natural question to ask if I am going with my boyfriend, whom I have traveled with the most over the last three years. However, I have noticed that if I tell someone right up front that I am going with a friend, they always get around to saying, “So, your boyfriend isn’t going with you? How come he isn’t going? How does he feel about this?”

There is a part of me that feels this is just natural curiosity, and another part of me that feels like people are asking because they feel it is weird or unnatural. Here is my take on it:

I wanted to go to London and I wanted to go over spring break. My boyfriend, bless his heart, did not feel the wanderlust push to go right now, especially having lived there for a few years in his youth- been there, done that. He is in a place where he really needs to focus on his business, which is completely understandable and I respect that. I love him so much, and I love being able to travel with him, but if he can’t go somewhere, I do not take this to mean that I cannot go.

If I had not traveled because my ex-boyfriend couldn’t I would have never been to Los Angeles, or Paris, or countless other places!

I have often heard before that I am so lucky to have a boyfriend who loves to travel, and I am very lucky in that sense. However, just because my boyfriend does not want to go somewhere, does not mean I will not go there, it means that I will grab a friend!  That is just how I operate. You don’t need a significant other to travel with, and some of my best trips have been with friends (and not because I was single at the time-I wasn’t).

I understand that there are different stroke for different folks, I am just saying that I cannot buy into the idea that if I really want to see the world, and my significant other cannot accompany me that I can’t go. Once upon a time I had a boyfriend that never could or wanted to travel, so I went on trips with friends. I am no longer with that person, and if I had missed out on all those travel opportunities because my boyfriend did not want to go or did not have enough money, I would have never been to Paris, Los Angeles, New Orleans, the list goes on.

Me and one of my best girls in San Fransisco on a girls-only getaway!

I also find that girls trips can be a really great bonding experience, and was blessed with a girlfriend who is unafraid to travel and explore new lands without her man! We had an amazing girls weekend in San Fransisco last year, and sometimes you just can’t shop all day on a trip, and then order room service and watch Pretty Woman unless you are with your girlfriends! We are at a time in our adulthood where slowly your adult friendships become less close, people get married, there is a lot of double dating happening, which is great but there is nothing like a trip to really bond with a friend!

The first room in all of the Palace of Versailles that we saw!

I am lucky enough to have a boyfriend that completely understands this about me- this lion-hear-me-roar independence that is intertwined with my wanderlust. He is very supportive of my trip to London, and loves my travel companion Joey just as much as I do! The other incredibly great thing about this trip is that I get to reunite with one of my all time favorite traveling buddies who is definitely my travel soul mate. We travel in exactly the same way: obsessively tourist-like and incredibly detailed in planning, while being budget-friendly. I have missed traveling with him- some of my best trips were with Joey, and I could not be more excited to take on this European adventure with someone just as nerdy and excited as I am!

Don’t be scared ladies! It’s okay to travel without them sometimes!

I guess what I am trying to say is- I am traveling without my significant other, and we are both fine with it! I have done it before and I will do it again! And ladies, if the opportunity presents itself, don’t be afraid to travel without your man, just think about it at least! You could be missing out on the trip of a lifetime!

6 Comments

  1. My significant others loves to travel, and so do I, so I’ve never come across a problem like this in our relationship thankfully!

    • I think that is so great! Thank you for the comment! : ) my boyfriend loves to travel, but I think I get the irresistible urge more than he does such as this instance. I just fear for people who have the impulse and their partners don’t! Go anyway!! Travel is never regretted : )

  2. Great Post! Very insightful! I have a lot of friends I love to travel with and depending on the theme of the trip and/or the itinerary I know who is going to enjoy a particular journey and be able to keep up with my frantic pace, although I have mellowed a bit I still enjoy being referred to as “the tour nazi” by one friend in particular. I’ve spent a lot of time over the years traveling on my own which has its pluses and minuses. When you’re sitting in a restaurant you can only pretend to be incredibly engrossed in your guidebook for so long. The part about solo traveling that I dislike the most is dinner at the end of the day when you want to share all the cool experiences you had with a significant other or travel partner. Mostly, I like to go at my own pace and see what I want to see when I want to see it. Also, when you travel on your own, it forces you to put yourself out there more often and I wouldn’t have some of the incredible friends I have today if I hadn’t had to wander up to them in some random cafe in Thailand or Burma and say ” Hi, please be my friend, I haven’t spoken to anyone in 4 days” Alone or with the travel partner of your choice, just make sure you do it. Don’t miss out on anything because someone else wasn’t there to experience it with you. You’ll almost always find a kindred spirit along the way when you’re out and about

    • Marc, thank you so much for the comment! I did not want to offend anyone with the post who doesn’t feel comfortable traveling without their s/o, but I was hoping it bordered on explaining my own scenario & inspirational? I certainly don’t feel like I need my man to travel. If he wants to come, awesome! He is a great travel partner, if not- ciao! haha I’ll send him a postcard!

      I think that your perspective is a really helpful one on traveling solo, because I could not really speak to that experience. So far I haven’t felt the drive or need to fly solo just yet, I am lucky enough to have a few friends waiting in the wings at a moment’s notice. I wouldn’t rule it out though!! I could not agree more with your statement whether alone or w/a partner- just go! : )

  3. I love, love, love your post! I’m 27 and have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and we live together, but I’m more adventurous, and love traveling and doing outdoorsy stuff way more than he does. Plus, he can be a little lazy too. I have done things without him when he doesn’t want to do them, such as visit art shows, movies, festivals, etc. But for the past year, I have had this urge to escape from so much work, school, the dry, hot desert, and take a little trip to California (we live in Arizona) to visit one of my best friends (who is a guy and my boyfriend has met & hung out with) and do things like hike, camp, skydive, surf, etc., that I really want to do, but my boyfriend has no interest in, but my best friend loves doing. That’s one of the reasons I love hanging out with my best friend, we always have awesome adventures in nature and he pushes me to try things I never thought I’d be able to do.

    My boyfriend is usually supportive of me, but I don’t know how to tell him or if he would be offended that I want to take a solo trip to go on some outdoor adventures, which I REALLY want to do, but he has told me before he is not interested in doing any of that stuff. I know that if I was single, I would have done all that stuff with my best friend by now, but the fact that I have a boyfriend is what is making me hesitate.

    I’ve gone on trips with family without him and he was fine with that, but I don’t know how he’ll feel about this. I have other friends in California too, so it’s not like I would just be alone with my friend all the time. I also would like to have some alone time at the beach, which I love. Is there any advice you can give me? Thank you, and I look forward to reading some of your other blog posts :)

    • Hi Annie, thanks for the comment!! :) It sounds to me like you really want to go on this trip, and I am all about accomplishing the things you want to in life! Life is just too short to let much of anything stop you from seeing the world! I was firm in my want to go to London with a friend, but I was a little nervous talking to my boyfriend about it, so I know how you feel. I think if you approach the situation really nicely, and just explain that you really have some outdoorsey things you would like to do with your friend, and visiting friends is important to you, he will hopefully be receptive! I sat my boyfriend down and I said, “hey, I know you aren’t really down to travel right now, and London isn’t very high on your travel list. I have a really great opportunity to go with my friend right now to the UK, I really want to go, but I just want to know how you would feel about it.” My boyfriend felt a little bummed that he was going to miss out, but not angry or jealous in the least, he understood that it was important for me, and he was happy that I could have fun even though he couldn’t.

      It sounds like it’s at least worth the conversation!! Goodluck!! : )

Leave a Reply to Michelle Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>