Celebrity Sightings: Danielle Staub
I almost exclusively watch the Bravo Network, and I have seen every episode of the Real Housewives of New Jersey about a thousand times. I know that it is totally trash television, but I don’t watch the Jersey Shore OR Teen Mom/16 and Pregnant, whatever, so this is the one hour of hair pulling and screeching that I allow myself. In honor of the Real Housewives of New Jersey gearing back up for a new season, I wanted to share a story about how I met THE ‘prostitution whore’ Danielle Staub!
I spend a lot of time in North Jersey, and was sitting in a Starbucks a few months ago when my boyfriend says, “Oh look, it’s Danielle Staub behind you from the Real Housewives.” I turned around like ‘yeah, okay’, and see a younger girl standing at the hand off with long black hair extensions, HUGE sunglasses, boots with fur, the whole nine. I turned back thinking, ‘yeah, that does look like her didn’t it…..wait…..OH MY GOD IT IS HER!” I basically stared at her the entire time, freaking out, while my boyfriend tried to think of a thousand ways I could talk to her. I totally chickened out and watched her walk all the way back to her giant Suburban and pull away. I was so mad I let her get away! Of course she probably would have wanted me to ask her for a picture, she is a D-list celebrity! I couldn’t believe I chickened out.
Fast forward to another month later, when I am shopping by myself in an A&P just around the corner from the original Starbucks I saw her at. I am going to grab a giant pizza, and who walks by with a shopping cart? Danielle! I was freaking out! She was wearing basically the same thing, she definitely dresses like a 22 year old, and she was wearing her jumbo sunglasses while shopping, peering around corner to see who was going to recognize her. Ridiculous! I knew that this shopping trip was fate, I HAD to approach her now. Might I remind all of you lovely readers that I was approaching her in the cheese section, just to make this entire encounter totally silly and over the top. Below is pretty much a direct transcription of our conversation as I remember it:
Ferocia: “Um, Hi, excuse me, I’m really sorry to bother you but um…are you Danielle Staub?”
Danielle: *Looks around to make sure anyone/no one is noticing her “Yes, yes I am.”
Ferocia: “Oh my god, I am so sorry to bother you, I am just a huge fan of the show, I really love the show.”
Danielle: “Thank you honey, thank you.”
Ferocia: *resisting the urge to say ‘don’t call me honey’, and started reaching for little white lies (because really what do I have to say to Danielle other than that she makes me more mad than any other television personality ever?)* “You just seem so nice! And they are just so mean to you! I can’t believe how mean they are!”
Danielle: “Yes they are just mean and terrible people.”
Ferocia: *feeling awkward from all of the lying*”Well I guess that is just what happens when you’re on a television show!”
Danielle: “NO. It’s REALLY THEM. THEY ARE MEAN.”
Ferocia: “Um…okay….ha….Can we just take a picture together???”
It was an interesting encounter for sure! She was nice enough to take a picture with me, but definitely not warm. She holds her ground that all of the other housewives are mean and vicious people, but having met her, I wouldn’t trust her as far as I could throw her. I guess you never know who you could meet when grocery shopping!